When you just can't seem to get motivated.

In this blog, I’m referring to a time in my life when a whirlwind of disruption came trailing through, and then left, just as quickly as it arrived.

Very quickly I knew this time was going to cause my peace to be compromised.

It’s strange looking back, because just before it all started, I had a moment where I thought, life had been pretty sweet for quite some time.

I was content in my daily practices that would set me up for a strong mindset and naively thought I would be equipped for anything.

This time in my life taught me that each period of transition and adversity requires a new level of yourself and a shedding of a part of you that got you to where you are.

It requires something different, and it’s down to you, to find out how to reach that breakthrough, to be there for yourself, and to create the strength that you might not have known you had.

As you read on, you may resonate with parts of how I felt, or maybe you resonate with a lot of it but I wrote this blog so you know that you are not alone and it doesn’t last forever, there is always light and you do emerge from the wreckage a stronger and brighter version of the you from before.

Sometimes, it’s a moment-to-moment kind of thing.

I thought I would be ok because I had equipped myself with the tools I needed.

I sat comfortably feeling confident in my ability to face adversity.

(Which is a sharp lesson in itself).

But when adversity chose me…

My body, my mind, my soul, my heart, didn’t know what struck.

Everything that worked before, no longer worked.

I was crying at random times of the day.

I wasn’t getting enjoyment out of anything.

Not even fitness.

I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning.

I would rush to be done with everything, even though I had nothing to rush for.

I couldn’t find any motivation, and when I dragged myself to do anything, I would cut it short.

I’d feel frustrated at myself for not being able to do what I’d normally do.

I’d get upset that I couldn’t find joy in a single thing.

I tried forcing myself into normal routine, taking myself to the gym, making healthy meals, getting out of bed, and going outside.

Nothing.

I couldn’t meditate. I couldn’t journal. I couldn’t move.

I wanted to, but didn’t want to.

I didn’t know what to do anymore.

Everything I knew – wasn’t.

Everything I knew – didn’t.

The only thing left was to surrender.

! SURRENDER !

I tuned in to my mind and body.

I didn’t force anything.

It was a moment-to-moment kind of thing.

I didn’t put pressure or expectations on myself.

I immersed myself in what was.

I let it flow in.

And let it flow out.

I didn’t attach meaning.

I didn’t attach value.

And surely enough, I started returning to myself.

I accredit this turnover to the surrender.

The heavy emotions were seeping through, and I needed to listen.

The resistance lifted and I eventually felt in flow of my life again.

I feel like the foundation was set from the practices I was already implementing before this time: meditation, journaling, yoga, and other mindfulness activities.

So when I realised I needed to let go of the need to control my emotions and actions, the transformation happened relatively swiftly.

My words to anyone feeling even a tiny bit of upset, depression, angst, frustration, or sadness is that deep within you, you do know what is needed to move the needle forward for yourself, you just need to give yourself grace, kindness, and time for it to fall into place.

Don’t ever feel guilty for the way you feel, or think you need to be further along the line. You are right where you need to be and you have it all within you to move through the transition.

Always, always, listen to yourself.